As some of you might know Amsterdam Teleport Hotel has recently turned 1 year old, which was a year of growth, success and joy for all of us. Although we had a great birthday celebration with our guests in the hotel on the day itself, it took the team a while to throw our own little party. And since we’re starting a new collaboration with SANDEMANs Tours we’ve decided to use the opportunity and go wild with the Red Light District Tour, some drinks in between and a festive dinner as a finishing touch.
Our fun start
Same as the last time, when having a day out with our amazing team, we gathered at the hotel, grabbed our rental bikes (so easy to ride!) and headed to the city center through the green beauty of Westerpark. Having a beer before the tour sounded like the right thing to do and so we found ourselves at gezellig ‘t Loosje that had become our favorite bar at the Nieuwmarkt. It’s one of those typical Dutch brown cafés-so nice and cozy for a glass of beer or two in a good company. Our Canadian/Dutch tour guide Lee met us at the bar and the adventure was on!
Blue lights in the Red Light District?
We were surprised to start the tour with the alley of windows with blue lights instead of red ones, but it turned out to be a part of De Wallen with a special twist. Little did we know that that florescent blue was indicating the windows of transsexual sex workers, and not exactly the regular ladies we were expecting to see. Well, the change of light might be quite helpful for some men looking for an adventure after a few drinks-sometimes you can’t tell the difference, so the blue color is the safe guide. So unless you’re deliberately looking for transgenders or transvestites (and it’s only 5% of them in the Red Light District), you might need to have your eyes open and pay attention to such signs as a small penis hidden in a fence. By the way, we haven’t encounter any male prostitutes throughout the tour, so too bad for our female part of the team.
Then we got introduced to the biggest sex theater in Amsterdam, where it’s all about adults entertainment that goes way beyond regular strip dancing. Casa Rosso can make anybody sweat with their daily erotic shows performed by hot talented artists who might interact with you directly, especially if you’re the bachelor(ette). We finally uncovered the secret of the swans of the Red Light District, as our guide explained that Casa Rosso lured them there, and we bet it was something special.
Peep Show it is!
Maybe our team got a bit too excited after the curious stories about the scenarios at the sex theater, because Janneke and Bianca sneaked into the small booth of the Sex Palace Peep Show. What exactly they were watching remains a mystery, but it was either a couple having sex or somebody pretty masturbating. And all you pay is 2 Euros for 2 minutes! Ask them whether it’s any different from watching a porn-most likely so as it’s live.
Is that really a church?
Yep, the 800-year old Oude Kerk is indeed located in the heart of the Red Light District. And it’s a huge question what came first-the church or the windows with the ladies, as they’ve always been there together. How convenient it would be in old times-the sailors come to Amsterdam, sin with a prostitute, and the church is right there to pray for forgiveness. Not far from Oude Kerk our guide led us to the smallest alley of the district, where you can pass only one by one (it does create an intimate vibe!). This tiny passage is right next door to Oudezijds Voorburgwal, which is full of The Bulldog coffeeshops (not that their weed is too good though).
The Banana Bar
In case you’re wondering what could be happening in the Banana Bar in the Red Light District, then probably your fantasy isn’t wild enough for Amsterdam. It’s all about bananas and ladies here: visitors pay money to see a woman putting a banana in herself and they’re even allowed to have a bite of the banana. The rest we leave up to your imagination, besides we haven’t seen it ourselves.
For those of you who are wondering where the ladies behind the windows come from, the majority of prostitutes of Amsterdam are from Eastern Europe, Asia, Latin America and Africa. Dutch sexworkers are so rare, that they put out a “100% NL” sticker on their window being proud of their unique position among the other ladies.
The Old Sailor
And just like lots of the clients of the Red Light District, our team went for a relaxing drink at the Old Sailor Pub, which turned into way more drinks than just one. That’s how it goes (fast and easy) at this bar, where locals and tourists come together after sexworkers watching. We had a great tour with SANDEMANs’ guide, and some of us got excited it seems. You can tell from the sex shop purchase of one of our colleagues (let’s pretend we don’t know the name) and some spicy parts of the video on our Facebook page.
Wrapping up with Japanese
Of course our day out as a team and Teleport’s birthday celebration couldn’t be finished only with drinks, so our bodies and souls were craving for some good food together. We couldn’t choose better than unlimited sushi at Mojo Japanese Kitchen, where we indulged ourselves with authentic cuisine, amazing company and toasts for the success of Teleport Hotel.
This post is also available in: Dutch